2013 New Year Resolutions ?

Well, I'm suddenly in the mood of writing this. So I might as well give it a go then !

1. Study comes first. So, I'll want myself to get the best results there is for my Cambridge A-level AS exam ( May) and A2 exam (November) .

2. Finish writing my novel, A Kingdom of Roses. I seriously hope I do.

3. Peace and harmony in the family. It has to get better, seriously.

4.To help and care more about my family.

5. To be healthy and take more care in my overall well-being.

6. To lose more weight ? Guess so. To grow taller ? Maybe.

7. Drama-free and harmonious friendships.

8. To grow up. To understand things better.

9. To say no and be firm to all the distractions and negative habits.

10. To travel and visit new places. Vacation , maybe ?

Guess I'll stop at 10. Wonder whether there'll be more....hmm...

On-flowing Thoughts

I should never read books before bedtime.

The result of that is just unbearable sometimes. Here I am, after reading The Casual Vacancy, mind buzzing with thoughts, whirling around all kind of different things, trains of thoughts round and round the head.

I dont have a livid idea of what my thoughts are about. They're just there and I'm just laying on the bed on my back, staring up at the ceiling. However I'm tired, I couldn't be able to rest my mind and sleep.

I know that I won't be the only teenager/ young adult to do that. No matter how much people seem to deny it, they all think deep from time to time. Thinking that why that happened to them in a particular time period and how things ever happened around them. Maybe about how their friendships with certain people turned out, relationships with their parents and perhaps about the society treats them the way it does.

It's just one of those numerous nights, where I'll just get sentimental over everything that happened to me in my life.

You know what ? I have said I dont really like J.K Rowling's The Casual Vacancy in the early days when I read it. But really, it's genuine and real in its dark scary ways. It isn't even a fiction to me anymore. It gives out the images about how cruel the society can be and the lies everybody loves to tell and truths and secrets that are concealed. Rowling has her reasons of presenting this book as an adult book. I was starting to think how complicated and messed-up is her mind when it makes her write this own thing down on papers. But now, as I realise when i read on, everything is just there for her to write about the society. Everything. She didn't have to think much into what she was writing. The dark, cruel, naked truth about the society around us. It's hard to cover up. But of course, there'll be some good sides of it. Surely. But more often than not, the evil triumphs over the good. And that's that.

Mum has always said I have high tastes in things and that I have my own reasons behind every one of it. She's right. There's no way I consider J.K Rowling as my idol without my own valid reason. She isn't just an author who wrote Harry Potter series. She's more than that. I love her writing styles. Her sincerity. Her boldness and courage. I'd really like to have a word with Dad about this soon. He has always told me Rowling has a rather messed-up thinking. Not exactly, Dad, not exactly.

It's like reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower again. The touching ache inside the heart and all the sentimental emotions. The genuine and sincerity of the contents in the books. It's completely different from the time I read Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Hunger Games. These two books are genuinely real and they lead to paths towards adulthood.

I could sit here and continue typing about my thoughts...but I dont think anyone would appreciate such confusing and messy thinking. And the thing is, I don't exactly know how to put it all down in words. I'm having such problem lately, perhaps because my thoughts whirl around too fast for me to comprehend.

I hereby wish everyone a nice life, a happy and peaceful life where dreams could come true and love is filled in your hearts and souls.

Before it all ends again

As I'm here, reading The Casual Vacancy by J.K Rowling (which is also the last book I have to finish reading), thoughts drift to the new year, 2013.

I just couldn't help but wondering how much more I have to do to prepare for the upcoming school year, what would it be like going back to college again and how the interactions with the people will be. It's quite silly really, to have to worry about these kind of things, as I have already gone through them already and hence, it'll all be the same, all will be fine like it was last time. But really, one couldn't help but wonder and feel a little bit afraid of the uncertainty and what might actually happened. I know, this is one of the flaws that I have, think and worry too much about things that haven't even happen yet.

Oh well, I just hope everything will go smoothly and nicely for next school year. I really do hope it does. I don't know why, but this really means a lot to me. Peace and harmony in the surroundings is very much needed for me.

And about the preparations for the school year, I'll have to go shopping and get everything I need, that's essential, of course. It's a relief that I have got my eyes checked and my new glasses will be ready in two weeks. I also have to study and revise for the things that my lecturers are going to teach next year, just so I won't be confused and worse, fall behind of everyone else. My parents are, well, they are reasonably okay with my Semester 1 Final Exam results. I got an A for Business Studies, B for Law and Economics, each. For me, I don't really feel anything, to be honest. I have known that I'll get results like this, worse come worse. The best results will be 3 A (s) . But I have kind of expected this, don't know exactly why, but i just feel it. I couldn't say I'm really happy about it, yet I'm not sad either. Relief maybe ? No. Satisfied ? Not at all. The word to describe the feeling will be : Okay. My parents, as I have expected, told me that they want more from me. They want me to get the best results and said I should have work harder. They just didn't feel content. Oh well.

If I say I'm happy and looking forward to going back to college, I'd be lying. I want the holidays to be continue like..forever. But some part of me will be logical and rational enough to think what I have to do. Lets just hope that when the time comes, I'd be excited to start a brand new year in college.

Deep in thoughts

These days, when I indulge myself in the world of literature, I’m feeling rather sentimental and deep in thoughts. I seem to be in a whirl of emotions with the characters somehow. I always have this kind of feelings whenever I read stories. I’m sorry but to say this once more, I seem to be like Charlie in this way, always thinking and being deep.

I feel that in the end of a year, it’s always sentimental and content, with people feeling good with other people again and everyone get together again. I certainly love this and this is the reason why I love the end of every year. It’s also because everything starts to be fine again and it’s a relief and happiness. It’s Christmas time as well and looking forward to a new year with hopes and dreams that have yet to come true.

I have no specific things to write under this post really, just simply voicing my thoughts aloud.

There’re actually a lot of things I need to handle and go through every day, month and year. But I know that I can handle some things quite well and alright on my own, but I also know that there’re some things that I can’t do well, and certainly not in my own power to do them right. I’d very much like to say that we control everything around us in the world, but the truth is, we don’t and we can’t. Really, if you were to sit down one day, just do nothing and think about things inside your head, you’ll realise that this world that we live in is somehow hard to understand and everything is just plain weird. And sometimes, it’s quite messed-up, I’d say. People behave in different ways, they think different thoughts and they carry out different acts. And I just couldn’t comprehend how everything could happen the ways they happen with reasons of their own. Say, the relationships with people and the things that happen around us. It’s just the way it is, doesn’t it?

I might have confused you while you read this. *laugh slightly*

But come to think of it, if you do know me personally, you’ll know the things that I go through and how everything is so weird and how things happen the ways they did. One thing for sure, I’m alright after all that had happened and I’m grateful for that.  This just shows that no matter what happened, you’ll be alright in the end, really :) Challenges and hardships in life will always come and meet us in our life pathways, but every one of us will somehow find ways to move past them. I assure you, every one of us will be able to do that. Until now, I couldn’t explain why that is, but I just know and believe that things will be alright if you’d just believe. I think it’s just all in our heads, you know?

See now, I’m here talking confusing nonsense! Ah, please do excuse me!

Well since I’m in this whirl of emotions, it might do me some good to go ahead and write my story, A Kingdom of Roses and make it all deep and sentimental. *laughs* 

I’m BACK!! And It’s HOLIDAY TIME!!!!

Come to think of it, this is the first ever long period holiday I have after I entered college so it’s kinda awesome :D

Anyways, I know I have neglected this whole blog-writing task for quite some time. So I’m glad to say that I AM BACK , people !!! But I can’t exactly promise that I’ll continue writing when college classes start again next year…but I shall try my very best to write some stuffs…But then again, there’s a high possibility that I won’t have anything interesting to write about rather than attending classes LOL !

Well *cough cough* moving on, I’d like to share with you what I want to do, what I have been doing during this holiday season, some thoughts about it. Christmas stuffs and of course, the preparation for next year, 2013, which I think this whole ‘’the world going to end’’ thing is nonsense. I assure you, we’ll all have to wake up on the morning of 21 December and find ourselves and the world is still the same as yesterday when we go to bed >.< But nevertheless, we shall just see what will happen then. Oh yeah! They too say that the world is going to have blackout for 3 days? Well, I have no idea how to make of that, but as I said, WE SHALL WAIT AND SEE!

Basically, what I want to do for this holiday season are read the novels I bought, write my story, A Kingdom of Roses ( which I’d like to make it as a Christmas present ) and also poems and some Christmas short stories like I did last year. I might also get a chance to go for a vacation, but that is still under discussion with Mum.

So far, I have finished reading 2 fictions, The Perks of Being a Wallflower and A Time For Everything by Joycelyn Ong!

The Perks of Being A Wallflower is a deeply genuine and moving story about coming of age and discovery of new things and challenges in life. It’s rather deep and thoughtful by the way the author wrote it and the emotions and thoughts of the main character connect to the readers in an amazing way. Everyone can relate to this one way or another. It’s real and sincere and the fear, challenges and problems are all real. The writing style of the author and the way the story is presented is kinda special too. It’s presented in letters form throughout the story. Charlie writes letters that starts with ‘Dear Friend..’ and tell the ‘Friend’ and us, the readers, his life as being a Freshman in high school and his background, history and mental health. I watched the movie based on this story, and it’s beautifully done with the brilliant acting skills of Logan Lerman particularly and of course, the awesome Emma Watson. It’s amazing how Logan acts exactly like the way the main character, Charlie in the book would, with all the innocence, confusion, emotions, deep and it’s just WOW. Charlie= Logan, this is how I’d put it! Logan is just perfect, 100% perfect for this role. And for those of you who don’t know, Logan is the one who acted as Percy Jackson in the movie, Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. So you can imagine my excitement when I got to know Logan is acting alongside with Emma Watson, from Harry Potter. Oh gosh, it’s the union of two people I love from the two book series I love!

Next up, is the story of A Time for Everything. It’s a story about people from our 21^st century travel into another dimension, another past era, the 18-19^th century and create a wonderful tale. This is one of the stories that I’m absolutely in awe with the plot and storyline. The storyline just blend together so smooth and flawlessly and it all make sense in the end with all the exciting twists within the story. The characters in the story and their relationships are beautifully connected and everything just seems right throughout the story. And it’s equally wonderful that the feelings that the author connects us readers to the characters. I hereby want to say a big THANK YOU to Joycelyn Ong for writing this story and sharing with us. And I feel honoured to be in this story! This is definitely one of the best Christmas presents I have received!

I have 3 more books await me to flip pages with my fingertips! 2 Percy Jackson related books and J.K Rowling’s first adult novel, The Casual Vacancy! I can’t wait to read them!

But in the meantime, I shall continue writing my medieval-themed story, A Kingdom of Roses! I’m actually excited to finish this story and offer it as a Christmas present. In my opinion, this’ll be one of the most meaningful presents one can give to their loved ones :)

Speaking of Christmas, I’ll also be writing some Christmas poems and short stories for entertainment, but only if I can do it, which I hope I can! I’m certainly determined to have those written out! And well, since it’s Christmas, lets just show some Christmas spirit! I think I’ll help to put up the Christmas tree like any other past years and go for Christmas shopping! It’s going to be worth it because there will be huge discounts in shopping malls, can’t wait! I do hope I’ll buy some amazing stuffs like clothes, shoes and some necessity back home and prepare for the new school year! And I think I’ll need to get myself a new pair of glasses…

Preparation for the new school year is indeed an important section to do during the holidays for me. I’m not the person who completely let loose during the holidays, but I do loose myself sometimes, I’m certainly not that uptight, thank you very much! Now it’s always been a tradition that I’d start revising the things I study for the new school year, yup, you read that right! I’d revise the things I learn before and start reading the things I’ll learn soon. I like to feel prepared and be ready at any time when I go back to college. I don’t want to be confused about what the lecturers said and I’d prefer to be on line with the lessons and don’t want to be left out. This is one of the things Dad taught me. He’s the one who mould me into this studious self and anything that have to do with books and literature. Therefore, I’m not ready to let him down and I want him and Mum to be happy and proud to call me their daughter and get good grades, have a bright future and have a good job later in life.

2012 is really an amazing and memorable year for me, all in all. It comes with hardships and bitterness, but it comes with fantastic experiences and success as well. I’d really want to write everything that happened to me throughout the year of 2012, but then again, I don’t think I would though. But for the people who have gone through everything, no matter how hard and sad or how happy and awesome it is, with me, I hereby want to thank you for being there with me and make everything alright again and make every wonderful moments even more amazing! I really don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t get any of the supports, advices and just ears that willing to listen. I feel that 2012 is a rather challenging year for me to explore more new things and experiences. I kinda feel like Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflower in some ways, but I know that he had it a lot worse than what I have gone through, seriously. I’m grateful that I’m given this will, faith and belief to be better and everything is alright in the end. I have absolutely no regrets for whatever that happened because everything happens for a reason and I shall move on and look forward to a brand new upcoming 2013!