Late night haunted thoughts

I feel bad about what I did.

I feel that I am not a good person as people think I am.

I think that sometimes I am selfish, not considerate, not thoughtful, always think of myself and only myself and somehow using people as how people use other people.

The more I think about it, the more I feel bad about myself.

And then I started thinking how I have treated other people.

I think I haven't treat people good enough.

And that what if one day I wake up and someone is gone and I didn't get the chance to redeem what I did and that I haven't treat him or her well enough.

Then I have this madness to get up and call everyone I know how much they mean to me and I just want to tell them I'm sorry if I have did something wrong and I just want to tell them how much I love them, no matter the things we have gone through.

It's a week away from a new year, 2014. And I really hope for a brand new start and a more awesome future .

2013 has been one of the most awesome years in my life. And I am very happy about it. Grateful about it. And blessed.

So now I hope for a good start for 2014. I want to go find a job. Still thinking about it.

But no matter how bad things are or how much hardships there is, things will be fine in the end.

Oh well.

Happy new year ! Happy 2014 !